


A Tree in Rockefeller Center

by MiniRaven



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Spirits, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Christmas, Christmas Tree, Fluff, Happy Ending, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Jealousy, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:29:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5481758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniRaven/pseuds/MiniRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is a tree spirit of a hundred year old pine tree and Tony Stark is a teenager studying at MIT. Tony feels that there’s something more to their relationship besides a strong friendship between a human and a tree spirit, but Steve won’t cross the line. Might have something to do with the fact that Steve’s the Rockefeller Christmas tree and is going to be cut up for parts come mid-January to be used to build houses for the poor.</p><p>Yeah... Merry fucking Christmas to you too universe.</p><p>Now if only Tony could do something to change the tides of fate…</p><p>Note: Spoilers in the tags.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a story from Mushishi. If you like anime and haven't seen this show, I highly suggest it. Beautifully done and very calming.
> 
> Thanks as always to kuailong for the beta.

 

As normal for the Christmas season, Rockefeller Center was full of people. People pushed their way in and out of stores buying last minute presents. Tourists were wandering around the square to get a decent picture of the famous location. Couples walked hand in hand as they pushed their way through the packed street. Even college students were milling about before they left the Big Apple to spend time with their family.

“Steve!” A young Tony waved at a bulky, blond man standing on one of the light posts illuminating Rockefeller Center.

The blond man turned and immediately brightened as Tony pushed his way down the busy street. “Long time no see Tony." Steve jumped down from his small perch, high above the mass of people, and landed without any problems. People passed through him as if he wasn’t there as he moved to join Tony under a green awning against the side of one of the pale brown buildings. "How did college finals go?"

“Piff, too easy for a genius like me,” Tony scoffed. “Anyways, I got distracted by something better.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a glass tube. “Ta da!”

Steve blinked. “Uh, you want to show me a vial of green goo?” he asked, carefully analyzing the tube from top to bottom.

“Sometimes I forget you're not as brilliant as me,” said Tony with a pompous sigh. “No, it's something better. Remember how you were complaining to me about the pain in your trunk?”

Steve closed his eyes and pressed a frustrated finger against his temple. “Tony, I told you, it's bearable. The wind was just extra strong that day and it put a bigger strain on me than normal,” he said, trying his hardest to sweep the issue under the rug.

“But Steve,” whined Tony. “It shouldn't be bearable. You should spend your last of days enjoying the sights and sounds of New York. Not bent over in pain because of a strong breeze.”

Steve shook his head at the ridiculous notion. “Tony, I’m a ninety-seven year old pine tree. I’ve experienced drought, torrential rain, hurricanes, all sorts of natural disasters and lived to tell about it. I can handle a little wind.”

“But Steve,” wined Tony. “I made it myself. I worked hard to make this.” Tony gave Steve his biggest, most adorable puppy eyes, daring him to say no. Always worked on brain dead people looking to spoil an innocent teenager. Who said it wouldn’t work on tree spirits too?

Steve, to his credit, tried to resist the diabetes inducing, brown puppy eyes, but in the end, he broke like everyone else. Perks of being small, young, and irresistible. “Okay,” Steve said, indulging Tony’s unwarranted enthusiasm. “What is it?”

Tony grinned in satisfaction at his victory. “It’s a pain killer for plants.”

“And you made something like this within the few weeks you’ve been gone at college?” asked Steve skeptically, eyebrow raised high on his forehead. “I didn’t think engineers dabbled in botany.”

“Well,” confessed Tony. “I did have some help. And by that I mean I know someone in the radiology department who knows someone in the astrophysics department knows someone in the biology department who know someone in the botany department who made this specifically with you in mind.”

“Tony,” and there was that hard tone again saying Tony done something wrong. But unlike how Howard said it, Steve’s tone was more endearing.  When Howard said things in that voice, it was full of anger. Tony liked Steve’s tone much better.

“Oh come on, please?” Tony pleaded. “What's the harm in giving it a try?”

“You’re going to have to sneak past the barrier to install that in my base, right?” Steve’s judging eyes bore into Tony’s teenage soul, unamused by the prospect.

“Oh come on. College kids do this all the time. Besides, you’re a tree, and this blond hunky version of you is just a projection. Not much you can do to stop me,” challenged Tony with a carefree laugh.

Steve’s face soured. “I just-” His eyes quickly scanned the crowd for anything suspicious. “I don’t want you to get in trouble for this Tony,” whispered Steve, forgetting the fact that Tony was the only one that could see or hear him.

“Relax Steve,” Tony carelessly ducked down under the line and past the rope barrier. Despite the thousands of people loitering about; talking, laughing, eating, taking pictures, not a single sole pointed out how Tony was fragrantly crossing the “Do Not Cross,” rope surrounding the base of the Rockefeller Christmas tree. “I'm the sole successor to Stark Industries. Do you know what that means?”

“No,” Steve honestly replied. “And I'm not keen on knowing.”

“It means,” Tony continued, completely ignoring Steve’s response. “If anybody tries to stop me from doing what I want, I have enough money and power in name alone to fire their asses right on the spot.”

Steve frowned. “You shouldn't be doing that kind of thing Tony,” Steve scolded as Tony made a tiny opening in the side of the Christmas tree. “And you shouldn't go around saying things like that so casually.”

“Why not?” asked Tony, his attention focused on making the hole big enough for the vial of green goo. “It's true.”

Steve pushed at his temple and sighed. “Sometimes I forget you're just a sapling.”

“I'll have you know that just because I'm short doesn't mean I can tower over you in a few years. I haven't hit my growth spurt yet,” Tony retorted indignantly.

“You know what I meant," chastised Steve. "In the grand scheme of things, you're young and you're going to make some very silly mistakes in your early years. Easiest mistake I've seen young saplings make is trying to grow up too fast and then underestimating the power of those older than them.”

“What happened to them?” asked Tony, jabbing the tube into the soft, white flesh of the tree.

Steve twitched at Tony’s display of youthful carelessness. “They got choked out by the bigger plants or eaten by animals.”

Tony winced. “Ouch. Rough life you lead.”

“Rough life I led,” corrected Steve.

“Yeah,” the humor was sucked out of Tony’s voice. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, finished with his pet project. “Sorry about, you know,” he lamely kicked at a short branch that had fallen to the ground.

The branches above them shifted as Steve sighed. "I've done what I can and come to terms with it. Not like I can do much else considering I'm decorated in thousands of stars and screwed down in the middle of a stone forest.”

“I told you the stuff is called concrete,” corrected Tony.

Steve shrugged. “Still made of rocks.”

“Fine,” grunted Tony as he quietly made his way past the rope and back into the public area. “Have it your way smart guy.” They had argued this point a million times and now was not the time to make it a million and one times. Christmas was around the bend with New Year’s coming up soon after. Soon enough, the decorations would be removed from the tree and Steve would be taken down and chopped up for parts.

Tony stomped out of the sea of people over to a concrete ledge with a perfect view of the Christmas tree and out of the way of the tourists. As he hopped up on the ledge to relax, Steve appeared next to him, seemingly unaffected by the mass of people milling around like a swarm of bugs in the forest.

They sat in silence for a while: taking in the white noise that was New York City, watching the lights flicker around shiny ornaments, feeling the cold air burn with each breath of air, enjoying each other’s company. It was nice. It was winter. It was Christmas. It was together.

Tony was the first to break the silence. “How's that working out for you?”

Steve tilted his head back and forth in thought. “Nothing yet, but my trunk is also pretty long. It might take awhile for the stuff to take effect. Plus, no more roots to absorb it directly into my system, but I don’t think I’m too out of practice.”

“Well when it does, let me know,” said Tony, kicking his feet back and forth. “We didn't have a lot of verbal feedback from our previous subjects.”

“Who were the other subjects?” asked Steve with a curious cock of his head.

“Um…” It was funny when telling it to the guys at MIT. But the notion of telling it to Steve made his stomach feel all nervous and queasy. “Venus flytraps,” he mumbled, hunched over and trying to hide the red hot tips of his ears with his hat.

Steve rolled his head back and groaned. “Tony, trees are very different than other plants.”

“But they give the best reactions,” Tony said, trying to defend his testing. “I mean, we tested it out on some saplings too, but Venus flytraps are a lot more fun to dress up as Santa.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“I have video evidence if you want to see,” Tony said, sheepishly.

Steve groaned and fell backwards onto his back with the weight of a fallen evergreen.

They entertained the loud silence between them a little longer, not needing to say words to enjoy each other’s company. But there was something bothering Tony. Something that had been meaning to ask, but was too scared to say anything. Until now.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Hum?”

“What's gonna happen to you when Christmas is over?” Tony asked, already feeling anxiety build up in his gut. “I mean, I know your trunk and branches are going to help the needy, but what about you? Is there like, a tree afterlife?”

Steve opened his eyes, looking up into the dark night where the stars once shone bright as the lights on his branches. “Don't know. Never thought to ask around before I got chopped.”

“What do you think then?” Tony asked with a curious tilt of his head.

Steve turned on his side to lie out like one of those models posing on a long sofa for a seductive portrait. “What would you like me to think?” he asked.

Tony blinked; surprised that Steve would ask him such a thing, and surprised that Steve would be willing to sit like that. That type of question was not something he had ever expected Steve to ask. He had dreamed of possibilities of what happened after ever since they met, but when faced with the opportunity to voice his dreams, Tony was suddenly silent.

He looked across the square at the tree, tall and strong as it kept watch over the “I would like to think that you come back someday. Not as a tree again, but as something else. Something not as fragile as a tree.”

Steve laughed. "That's the first time I've heard myself called 'fragile.'

“But you are,” Tony insisted. “You have no way to defend yourself from prey, or the elements, or anything. If you came back, I think you would come back as something sturdier.”

“Like what?” asked Steve, propping his head up on a hand. “What's sturdier than a tree?”

“I don’t know,” said Tony. He had an idea, but he didn’t dare say it. It was as selfish, childish thing to say. If he told Steve what he really thought, Steve would think he was nothing more than an immature child. Tony didn’t want that. He was fourteen, years beyond being treated with kid gloves.

Tony gave Steve a noncommittal shrug. “Turtles?” he offered. It was the best thing he could come up with at the drop of a hat.

“Turtles?” Steve snorted. “Out of all thing things you could have picked, you pick turtles.”

Tony’s face flushed red.  “I’d like to see you come up with a better idea!” Tony challenged over Steve’s laughter.

“I can see it now,” laughed Steve on the verge of tears. “Me; a little, brown box turtle just hobbling along like an inebriated human.” Adding to the humor, Steve mimicked how he might walk: blue eyes wide open, stupid little surprised look on his face, lumbering along all silly like. He fell back, howling with laughter.

Tony’s cheeks were on fire. How could Steve laugh so flagrantly at Tony’s idea? Saying Steve should be a turtle wasn’t that funny. Why wouldn’t Steve stop laughing? Steve would make an adorable turtle. If Tony saw Steve’s smile on a turtle, no matter how ugly, Tony would buy him up and bring him home in an instant.

Tony’s fists tightened with the urge to hurt Steve. But he couldn’t punch something that wasn’t there. Instead Tony lashed out in a furious verbal rage. “If you don’t think turtles are a good idea, then, maybe, being human wouldn’t be that bad either!”

Steve’s laughter stopped. His face sobered as the air around them became tense and somber.

Shit. What had he done? He was trying to pretend that he was over this. He was trying to not say anything. But, of course, he had to open his big mouth and say, “I want to date your sweet ass,” after Steve had clearly said multiple times over the past two months, “No, I’m a tree with a literal stick up my as. Let’s be friends instead.”

Tony’s breath began to quick as the panic and humiliation set in. This couldn’t be happening. Tony had sworn to himself that if he couldn’t date Steve, he would make sure to do everything possible for Steve to see him as a mature adult and not a pinning child. And now, he’d gone and messed it all up with his selfishness.

Tony couldn’t take it anymore. He hid his face in his crossed arms and pulled his legs in to form a protective shell around himself. As if doing so would make it all go away. He felt so small under Steve’s judging eyes. He’d rather have the earth open up beneath him and swallow him whole then listen to Steve’s rejection.

"Tony-" And didn’t that heart breaking tone just put Tony in his place. The mix of disappointment and sadness in Steve’s voice, Tony would much rather be yelled out by Howard than listen to Steve talk in that voice.

“I know what you're going to say Steve,” Tony interrupted. He had gone over this speech a hundred different times in a hundred different ways. The last thing he wanted was to hear the real thing from Steve’s mouth. “Humans and tree spirits can't be together. You’re dying right now and it just wouldn't work.”

“But,” he said, holding onto the smallest bit of hope. “I still don’t see why we can’t be together for the few days you have left. I mean, I like you and you like me. So what the problem in us being something more for your last few days? I know we can’t be together the way most couples are. I know I can’t touch you the way I want, and you can’t touch me the way I want to be touched. But I don’t see the harm in seeing each other while you’re still here?”

Steve let out a tired sigh, turning his attention to the Christmas tree across the way. “You're too young to understand.”

Tony’s cheeks began to burn red. “No I'm not!” he stood up in a fit of anger. “Why does everyone keep saying that? What do I have to do to prove I'm not a child?”

Steve glared at him. His normally soft and welcoming face was hard with deep creases across his brow. “I didn't say that Tony.”

“You call me a sapling all the time,” snapped Tony, moving as close as he could into Steve’s space without touching the phantom. “You’re basically calling me a child.”

“That not what it means and you know it,” glowered Steve, their foreheads almost touching, ready to butt heads in a sign of dominance.

Tony had had enough. Biting down on every emotion whirling inside him, Tony screamed, “Then what do I need to do to get you to like me!?”

Steve stared at him, wide eyed. Tony could feel the eyes of random people staring as he stood; fists clenched, trying to wrangle his emotions with an enemy only visible to his eyes. He didn’t care. All he cared about was Steve. It didn’t matter to him if it looked like he was having a fight with an imaginary friend. Steve could see Tony and Tony could see Steve. That was all that mattered.

What mattered was Steve and a torn look on his face. He looked like he wanted to rush over to Tony’s side and comfort him until everything was alright. But they couldn’t do that. Even if they could, Steve wouldn’t allow them to have that kind of relationship, or anything close to that.

Tears begin to prick at Tony’s eyes as he pulled his emotions back into his heart like a treasured blanket.

“Tony.”

His name, coming off of Steve’s lips as gentle and comforting as the rustling of leaves, made Tony shudder with want. The sound made him desperate for Steve to wrap his branches around his body, but that was impossible. Instead of falling toward the human shaped ghost, he took a cold step back into the isolated crowd of people.

“I want you to stick around,” sniffed Tony, refusing to regret the words that had come out of his mouth. “I can’t grow up any faster, but if acting mature makes you stick around, then-”

Sad blue eyes stared into his soul. Steve’s face was twisted like the knots on his trunk. The look on Steve’s face made Tony think that he would reach out at any minute to hold him. Maybe, just this once, Steve would indulge and Tony could feel the warmth of Steve’s hand on his skin.

Instead, Steve’s hands clenched against the concrete. “You’re leaking Tony.” The sadness weighed down his voice so it came out as no more than a whisper.

Tony sniffed and rubbed his cheek with a hard push of his palm. “People are easy,” he said, beginning to nervously fiddle with the edge of his jacket. “I buy them what they want, and they stick around until I buy them more. But you, I can’t buy you anything to make you to like me. I can’t buy you anything to make you stay.”

His fingers bunched up, wrinkling the hem of his jacket. "I want you to like me,” he confessed.” I want you to like me enough to stay. That way, we could be together.” His hands began to tremble inexplicably. “But you're leaving in a few weeks.”

“I could stop it,” he said with a stuttered breath. “I could buy you and bring you back to the house.” Tony tried his hardest to pull himself back together. He was a Stark. Starks were strong. Starks could accomplish anything. But-

“But you're dying. You don’t have any roots to keep you alive and there's nothing I can do to stop it." Tony sniffed and rubbed at his eyes.

Tony let his head fall down to his chest, feeling the weight of reality crashing down on his young, inexperienced shoulders. "I’m weak and powerless, and I hate it,” he whimpered on the verge of tears. “The only thing I can do is find ways to make you happy. So, I want to do things to make you happy with the time we have left, but you won't even let me do that. I just-”

Tears began to fall down his face as he choked out the words he wanted to say. “I don't know anymore. I want you to like me, but I don't know what else I can do to make you like me.”

“Tony.” Steve voice was low and comforting. It was as if each word he spoke was a gentle branch, brushing away the tears on Tony’s face. He slid off the concrete seat and knelt in front of Tony, low enough that Tony didn’t have to raise his head to meet Steve’s eyes.

“It's okay,” Steve reassured him. “I like you plenty. I just-” The ending to the sentence dwindled off into wordless emotions. He let out a long, tired sigh that rattled the decorations on the Christmas tree.

When he did speak again, his words were quiet, reserved, but determined. “I like you Tony. More than I should. More than any tree spirit should like a human,” he said it with a smile. However, there was a heavy sorrow to his voice. “But I have an expiration date. And I don't want to you to get hurt when I have to go.”

“Shouldn't I decide that for myself?” Tony asked through the mess of snot and tears. “Should I decide if it's worth the risk of liking you and you liking me?”

Steve’s face fell into an emotional mess. Affection, guilt, responsibility, understanding of inevitability, Tony could read it all on Steve’s face. But Steve wasn’t one to let his emotions get in the way of what he thought was right.

“Tony...” Steve reached out to touch Tony’s shoulder. But that wasn’t what he wanted. Steve’s hand would go through his shoulder like every other time they tried to touch, reminding Tony that Steve wasn’t really there.

But Steve was there. Just because nobody else could see him didn’t mean that Steve wasn’t real. Steve was as real as Obie or Jarvis. He could disappear at any second and nobody would notice. Tony didn’t want to be reminded of that. Steve was real, and Tony wanted Steve to be real. He wanted to be held by Steve. He wanted to hold Steve like tomorrow didn’t exist.

At that moment, an idea struck. Tony ran back over to Steve’s trunk. He shoved people out of the way despite vocal complaints. Damn the consequences. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s trunk and clung onto the bark like a cicada.

“Tony!” shouted Steve, walking through the crowd of people without batting an eye. “What are you doing?”

“You feel that Steve?” Tony yelled into the cold winter air, not minding the thousands of people milling about the square. “That's how much I love you. You got it!” He wrapped his hands tighter around Steve’s trunk, pressing everything feeling in his heart into the brown bark.

“Stop it Tony.” Steve uneasily eyed the crowd just beyond the rope barrier. “You’ll draw attention to yourself.”

“I don’t care,” said Tony, pushing his face in Steve’s rough bark. “I don’t care what other people think. I'm not letting go until you accept my love,” he yelled up into the branches high above the square. Tony squeezed Steve’s trunk until his knuckles turned white.

It didn’t matter that they were different species. It didn’t matter that there were decades apart in age. Tony loved Steve and Steve cared for Tony. Why couldn’t Steve see it was as simple as that?

“TONY!” Steve’s voice came out sharp and threatening. Tony flinched. Unconsciously remind of how Howard yelled at him in the past, he burrowed himself as far as possible into Steve’s trunk.

Tony’s weak body trembled, waiting for the angry onslaught of words, but they never came. Instead, Steve simply sighed and the tree softened under Tony’s grip.

“Tony,” Steve’s voice was quiet and calm. “Will you please let go?”

The bark scratched his skin as Tony shook his head “no.”

“Why not?” asked Steve.

“I want to touch you,” Tony mumbled into Steve’s trunk. “I’m tired of loving you from afar. I want to touch you and I want you to feel me. I want you to feel everything I feel for you. I want you to accept my feelings for you, even you won’t ever say that you love me.”

“But I can feel it Tony. I can always feel your love,” Steve said, fondness clear in his voice. “I can feel it in your smile. I can feel in your carefree laugh. I can feel it as you stare at the lights on my branches from across the street when my human form is gone and you don’t think I’m looking.”

“I can feel it now too,” he whispered, lifting his feet off the ground and floating so he and Tony were at eye level. “It's a little muted because of the screw splitting my base, but I feel it. It’s different than what I’m used to. But it’s warm, and so very human.” He blushed a little, ducking his head so Steve’s sky blue eyes no longer met Tony’s dark brown ones. “I like it very much,” he confessed.

“So, I can let go now?” Tony asked, hesitantly.

Steve chuckled and Tony felt an affectionate shift under the bark. “Yes Tony, I've accepted your love,” Steve said with a smile.

“Thank goodness,” Tony backed down with a sigh of relief. The side of his face that he had pressed into the rough bark was speckled with irritated red patches. “Your bark is so scratchy Steve.”

Steve laughed, making the plastic bells on his branches tinkle like fairies. “Grow a beard, and when I become human, you can get your revenge.”

Tony’s world stopped for a moment. “What?” he asked in disbelief.

“A beard,” Steve repeated, his laughter dying down. “I heard from some girls passing by that their boyfriends beard is scratchy.”

“No,” said Tony, holding onto hope until his knuckles were as white as the lights on Steve’s star. “The part about you becoming human.”

Steve sighed. He ran a fatigued hand through his blond hair, but the look on his face was that of pure amused affection. “I can't make any promises Tony. I have no idea what comes after this. But, I think, yes. If possible, I'd like to be reborn as a human. I'd like to be reborn so I can love you like you were always meant to be loved.”

“You really mean it?” Tony asked in a soft, breathy voice.

Steve smiled. “Let my cones be burnt to a crisp if I lie.”

“But you have to promise me Tony.” Steve knelt down in front of him and suddenly Tony was the one looking down at Steve instead of up. Gingerly, Steve placed his hands on Tony’s shoulders. Tony couldn’t feel the weight pressed down into him like he would if Steve was human, but it still sent a shiver down his spine just thinking about what it could feel like.

“I need you to promise me that if you find someone special. Someone who makes your whole world light up and spin like there's no tomorrow, I want you to forget about me and focus on making that person happy.”

Tony looked down, considering Steve’s request. His forehead pinched in a weird place. Carefully, he moved a hand up to his shoulder and placed it over where Steve’s hand should have been. He held onto the empty space, seeing, but not feeling the solid warmth as his thumb lovingly brushed against Steve’s hand. “I don't think I could ever forget you,” he mumbled, feeling the odd hole opening in his heart once again.

But Steve, stubborn Steve, didn’t waver. “Promise me Tony?”

“Fine,” mumbled Tony, not liking the empty feeling in his chest. The sooner he agreed with Steve, the better he would feel.

Tony slowly scooped Steve’s hand up, Steve following his movements every step of the way, as Tony kissed the cool air where Steve’s warm palm should have been. He closed his eyes as he nuzzled into the projection, trying his best not to think about what wasn’t there.

“I promise.”

* * *

 

 

Many years later

It was another crisp December day, same as every year. A crowd gathered around the trunk of another pine as it watched over Rockefeller Center. Faceless people milled about; taking pictures, shopping, taking a spin out on the manmade ice, screaming at their offsprings about not wandering around in a crowded place like New York. Good things like that.

But across the street and away from the discord of noise, Tony sat on one of the bus benches and watched.

“Another year, another tree goes up, and you still haven't shown your ugly mug,” Tony muttered to no one in particular. “Not that I can do much to find you. No picture of your face to show people, no idea of what happened to you, and yet I keep coming back here every year in hopes of seeing you again.” He chuckled at the thought and shook his head in amused wonder. “I must be the biggest idiot in the world.”

Tony let out a tired sigh. “Too bad I haven't been able to keep your promise. I've seen lots of pretty girls in my line of work, so very nice guys too. But none of them held a candle to you Steve. Oh, trust me,” he said, as if Steve was right alongside him, listening to the conversation. “I tried. But, nothing I did seemed to make it work.”

“Maybe I'm just a hopeless case Steve,” he said, grunting as he stood up from the bench. “Maybe the only people I can fall in love with aren't people. Maybe I'm 'tree spirit' sexual.” He looked longingly at the carefree people as they milled about the square, completely and utterly clueless of the aspiration that had watched over them one Christmas long ago.

“Well, whatever I am,” he mumbled with an amused chuckle. “I just hope you found some form of happiness wherever you are.” Tony’s eyes turned sad as he gave the Christmas tree one last look over. “Just so you know, I've asked that for Christmas every year since you got taken down.”

“Who knows,” he muttered to himself with a secret smile. “Maybe next year I'll get lucky.”

* * *

 

“Ow!” yelped Tony as a large plastic bag filled with green and red boxes broke over his feet. He was about to say, “Watch where you’re going, idiot,” but stopped when he got a look at the offender.

Tony’s eyes tracked the man as he mumbled a, “Sorry,” before bending down to pick up the miscellaneous boxes. At first glance, he didn’t look like much. He was a good head shorter than Tony, skinny as a rail, and ordinary dirty blond hair. But there was something about the eyes that made Tony look twice. The deep blue of his eyes, the pitch of the boy’s voice, the way he held himself despite his short stature, it reminded Tony of a certain tree spirit that he had loved long ago.

Desperation fueling his actions, Tony grabbed one of the gifts and handed it to the skinny blond. “Hey, let me help you with that,” Tony offered, kneeling down, more than ready to gather up the wrapped boxes.

The man hesitated, eyes shifting from the box to Tony. Eventually, he took the box in both hands, mumbled a, “Thanks,” but refused to meet Tony’s eyes.

“No problem,” said Tony, flashing his best schmoozing smile before reaching for another beautifully wrapped present. Outside of the occasional asthmatic wheeze, they gathered up the boxes in relative silence. Tony’s eyes following the man’s every move trying to pick apart his existence.

Was this Steve? He looked like Steve. But he looked so different from the way Tony remembered him. This man wasn’t tall. He wasn’t built like a bodybuilder. He did have blond hair (even if it was a bit on the dark side) and blue eyes. And from the looks the locals were giving him as they move the boxes out of the line of traffic, this man definitely wasn’t a tree spirit, or a tree. But was that enough of a sign to show that it was the same Steve Tony had fallen in love with? Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt to try and find out.

Tony offered the guy the last of the boxes. “You in a rush?” he asked, desperate to extend their time together.

“Yeah,” Not Steve said as he tried to wrangle the presents back into the bag. “I'm supposed to meet my friend in Rockefeller Center.”

Tony noted that the sad, broken bag looked like it had seen better days. Taking a leap of faith, Tony tried to be nonchalant. “You got a lot of stuff here. Need some help?”

Steve made a nasty face. “I can take it from here,” he proudly refused, slight Brooklyn accent coloring his words.

A smile tugged at his lips as Tony tried not to laugh in relief. Felt like the same old stubbornness with a lot more moxie. Must be a perk about being human. “I'm not saying you can't. I just have some free time and thought I'd offer my services.”

Not Steve pursed his lips, hesitant to accept the offer. “Well-” And wasn’t that an endearing amount of pride that made Tony want to gush over him.

“Oh come on.” Tony put on his best smile. “Think of it as part of the spirit of the season. Giving to those less fortunate. Helping a fellow man with his bags.”

“Well, okay,” Not Steve conceded with a stubborn pout. “But it's not that far and I could totally do it myself.”

“I'm sure you can,” humored Tony.

* * *

 

“Hey Steve!” A long-haired man with a dark shadow of facial hair waved them down. “What's the hold up?”

“Sorry,” Steve gasped as he hobbled over to his waiting friend. “Dropped a couple bags on the way here.”

“Aw shit,” Brunet began pawing at bags with his prosthetic arm. “The toys for the kids okay?”

“Should be,” Steve said, bending over to catch his breath. “I haven't had time to check the wrapping, but this guy helped me out so they shouldn't be too damaged.”

“Nice to meet you,” Tony said, offering the man a gloved hand. “Tony Stark.”

The brunet looked up from the bags, mouth agape. With his flesh hand, he greeted Tony with a firm shake. “Of Stark Industries. Yeah, I know,” the man replied with a star stunned stare. “Hard to mistake you for someone else when your face is plastered all over the city.”

“Buck,” warned Steve with a wheeze. Tony tried to hide a smile. Same old commanding tone, smaller body.

“Sorry,” Steve’s friend apologized with a laugh. “Where are my manners? James Buchanan Barnes. But this little guy here calls me Bucky.”

“Nice to meet you Bucky,” Tony said with his best business smile. Yet inside, Tony was anything but smiles.

Steve had come back. Steve had come back and found someone else. Someone that wasn’t Tony. He couldn’t blame the guy. The familiar language between the two, the ease as they looked at each other, Tony could see that they were made for each other. Besides, Bucky was easy on the eyes if he did say so himself.

And if they couldn’t be together, well, Tony would try and comfort himself with the assurance that his wish, after wishing for the same thing Christmas after Christmas, had finally come true. Steve was happy. Steve had found happiness. Even if it made Tony’s heart break seeing them together, it was all he could ask for.

Tony gave Steve one last smile, trying hard to hide the sadness as his heart broke once again. “Well, it's been nice chatting, but I think I gotta go,” he said, trying his hardest to stay strong and leave with his dignity intact.

He tried to walk away, head held high, but a pattering of footsteps and a sudden, “Hey, Mister Stark,” made him turn around.

Steve stood, feet apart, breathing out determined white clouds of warm air. “I know this is a bit out of nowhere, but do you think that maybe sometime you could stop by the community center down on 3rd sometime?” Steve asked. His cheeks were pink from more than just the cold.

“You don't have to help out,” he clarified in a jumbled rush of words. “I just think that it would be nice for the kids to see a big name role model who at least pretends to care about them. And then,” he looked down at his shuffling feet. “Maybe, afterwards we could go for a burger or something.”

“My treat of course,” Steve insisted. “I mean, I know you have money, being the CEO of Stark Industries, but-”

Tony smiled. One of those small, authentic smiles reserved for special people. “Yeah,” Tony said, feeling lighter than he had felt in years. “A burger would be nice. Does next Friday sound okay?”

“Yes!” Steve almost jumped out of his skin with excitement. “I mean,” he cleared his throat to hide the fact that he had to reel in his emotions. “Friday sounds great.”

“Great.” Tony tried to contain an amused laugh as he handed Steve one of his special business cards. “Here’s my private number,” he explained. “Get in touch with my PA and give her all the details of where to go.”

“You promise to come?” asked Steve, looking up from the gold embossed card. “I've been stood up before.”

“I promise,” Tony said with a grin, resisting the urge to mess up Steve’s adorable mop of dark blond hair. “And hey, who would break a promise to some little saplings, am I right? That would just be cruel.”

“So, Friday?”

Tony winked. “It's a date.”

* * *

As Tony walked away, Bucky gently elbowed Steve in the side. “I told you he'd be into it.”

“Do you really think he'd come?” asked Steve, watching Tony Stark’s tall form until it disappeared into the New York din.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You've been looking at magazines with his face in it since I've know ya. I’d say you have an unhealthy fascination with the guy, but I also know you don't fantasize for years over a person if they're a jerk. But I will say, once you start doing the do, you’re going to have some serious beard burn from that goatee of his.”

Steve elbowed Bucky in the side, heavy blush coloring his cheeks. “Shut up jerk.” Because Steve honestly kinda loved the idea of a little beard burn in the morning if it came from Tony Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Planned on publishing another three chapters to go along with this and expand the universe; but ultimately, I ran out of time to make them all nice and shiny before Christmas. Hopefully I can come back to this after I finish my long-term project.
> 
> If your interested, feel free to check out "Of Bootleggers and Mob Bosses" here [[link]](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3815905/chapters/8505460).
> 
>  
> 
> Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tree!Steve and Young!Tony talk about romance and go on a trip to Bryant Park. Meanwhile, in the present, Steve asks Tony out to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. All mistakes are my own.

Two Weeks before Christmas

 

“You just don’t get it do you!” shouted a young woman as the metal chair screeched against the stone pavement and fell to the ground. Tony looked up just in time to see her swooped down, grabbed her purse, and walked off in a flurry of clicking heels.

“Alexia?” The older woman on the other side of the table looked lost for words. Then, her face soured. She grabbed her worn handbag and began chasing after the young woman. “Alexia, come back here right this minute! We are going to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about it Mom. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“You may not live under my roof, but I refuse for you to date another woman.”

Sitting on the back of a bench, Steve watched the drama with rapt attention. “What was that about?” he asked as the two ladies stomped out of earshot.

Tony gave a brief look at the bickering woman and then returned his attention to his work. He had caught bits and pieces of the conversation, but considering the subject material, Tony hadn’t heard all the sordid details. “It’s complicated,” he surmised, fraying a wire with his Swiss army knife.

Steve snorted. “You say that about everything I ask about.”

“Yeah, but we were talking about electricity and programming. Human sexuality and gender identity are something else entirely. It’s a minefield of morality, religion, social norms, and weird genetics stuff that professors spend literal years studying. Engineering is just a lot of technobabble and dealing with things we can’t see or hold.”

“Sounds about the same to me.”

Christ, was he really having this conversation with a tree? “To put it simply, some people think girls should like boys and boys should like girls, but it doesn’t always work like that. Sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls and sometimes there are cases in the middle that don’t line up with anything.

Steve frowned. “I guess that sounds complicated. Trees don’t have a gender. We grow both male and female cones, but we choose whatever shape we’re comfortable with.

“Is that why I found you in shorts and a shirt that was two sizes too small?” asked Tony, remembering how beautiful Steve’s peck looked in a tightly stretched blue shirt.

“You did not,” teased Steve, looking as if he wanted to jab Tony in the side.

Tony laughed it off, trying to stifle the flash of desire blooming in his stomach. He tried to focus back on his work, but Steve wasn’t done asking questions yet.

“What about those two over there?” asked Steve, pointing to a couple mirroring their bench. “What are they doing?”

Tony looked toward where Steve was pointing and then quickly turn away. A flush creeped up his neck as Tony tried not to think about the intimate image. Of all the things Steve could have asked about, he picked up on that one. “It’s called kissing,” Tony said, trying to bury his face in his work. “People do it when they’re dating.”

“Dating?”

“You know,” said Tony, trying to hide his blush under his thick scarf. “It’s what people call their relationship when they spend a lot of time together.”

“But you and I spend a lot of time together. Are we dating?” Steve asked, cocking his head to one side.

‘Wouldn’t that be something if they were.’ Tony’s heart fluttered at the thought, but he quickly stifled the possibility. “It’s different. They like each other.”

Steve blinked in confusion. “But I like you, so what’s the difference?”

“They _like_ like each other.”

“Still not seeing the difference.”

God, was this what it was like for parents to explain sex to their kids? “Do you know how babies are made?”

“You mean offspring?”

“Yeah, sure,” Tony said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Call it whatever you like.”

“Plant, avian, or mammalian?”

“Just answer the damn question, will you?” Tony snapped. It felt like his entire body was on fire from second hand embarrassment.

Steve, apparently, was not embarrassed in the slightest. “Yeah, I know. Male cones release pollen in the spring. The wind blows the pollen into the air and fertilizes the female cones so their seeds can mature and drop in the fall. What about it?”

“Well, um…” He didn’t expect Steve to be so scientific about it. Now that it was his turn, Tony was drawing a blank. “You know how different mammals have different mating patterns?”

“Yeah.”

“Kissing is part of the human matting pattern.”

Steve was silent for a moment, connecting the dots in his head. “So,” he said, cautiously testing the waters. “Kissing makes offspring.”

“No! God no!” Tony yelled, scandalized at the prospect. “It just shows that you’re interested in the idea of making babies.”

“Oh,” Steve said, as if talking about sex was the most normal thing in the world. He watched the couple across the way make out for a few more minutes before he asked, “Have you done it?”

“What?” asked Tony, squirming in his seat.

“Kissed to make offspring?”

Tony’s face flushed beet red. “What? No! I mean, I’ve kissed girls before. I’m not a virgin.”

Steve chuckled, clearly enjoying Tony’s reactions. “I’d ask what a virgin is, but I feel that would derail this entire conversation.”

“Then don’t,” grumbled Tony.

He turned his back to the spirit, trying to convey it was the end of that conversation. However, Steve didn’t interpret Tony’s body language correctly. “So, I take it that not being kissed is a bad thing.

Tony groaned. “It’s a choice. I may kiss girls, but that doesn’t mean I want kids of my own yet.” And considering Howard’s parenting skills, Tony didn’t think he’d want to be responsible for another living being any time soon.

Steve hummed. “What’s that like, not having nature tell you when it’s time to procreate?”

“It’s fine, I guess,” Tony said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Guys get erections when they get horney, but sometimes we get an erection for no reason. Look at a pretty girl, raging boner. Wake up in the morning, hello morning wood. Guys my age think with their dick a lot, but, you know, we chill out with age and manage just fine.”

“Huh,” Steve said, looking into the distant crowd as if he were completing the answers of the universe.

Tony tried to go back to his project, but a question of his own popped into his head. He tried ignoring it. After all it wasn’t relevant to Tony’s research. It was personal of all things. But the question kept pestering him like an annoying fly. Eventually, Tony gave into his curiosity. He closed the pocket knife and stuffed the tool into his pocket. How was he supposed to phrase such a sensitive question?

“Have you ever, you know, pollinated anyone before?” asked Tony, his cheeks flushing hot in the early December cold.

Steve turned and stared down at Tony. His deep blue eye’s searched Tony’s face for something, but Tony had no idea what _it_ was. Tony gulped. Was he supposed to know the answer? Sure, he was a prodigy at fourteen, but even _he_ had slept through his fair share of biology classes. Had he just asked a really inappropriate question?

Just as Tony was about to apologize, Steve snorted and began to laugh. “Sorry,” Steve apologized between short gasps of air. “Not laughing at you. It’s just- I never thought I’d be asked that question. Pollination is so natural for me, I didn’t even think about what it means for other mammals.”

Tony’s face felt like it was on fire. Why did Steve think this was funny? It wasn’t funny. It was a very serious question. Why didn’t Steve realize how serious Tony was trying to be? Nobody at school had ever laughed at him like that before. Why was Steve laughing at him?

Tony felt so small and so mortified. He hated feeling like that! Tony pulled the scarf up over his nose, crossed his arms, and pulled his knees up to pout. “Well excuse me for asking,” he said, voice muffled by the thick fabric.

Slowly, the laughter died down. Steve’s eyes softened. He floated down from his current seat atop the back of the bench so he and Tony were sitting side by side. “I’m sorry,” Steve apologized. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just didn’t expect it. That’s all. But to answer your question, yes, I have. We trees may live a long time, but like other plans, more than half of our seeds don’t live long enough to become fully grown plants. Cones can take years to grow, but we have to release pollen every year to ensure our survival.”

Tony understood that. Survival of the fittest and all that useless stuff he learned in biology. But that begged the question, “Who have you pollinated?”

Steve’s eyebrow cocked with curiosity. “Does it matter?”

Tony nodded. His face slipped out from behind the scarf. Maybe it didn’t matter to Steve, but Tony thought it was important. It was really _really_ important. Like ‘make a little black book of all of Steve’s past partners’ important.

Steve frowned. “I don’t know,” he said, already deep in thought. “The wind takes my pollen wherever it pleases, so I never see the fruits of my labor.”

“Oh come on,” whined Tony. “There has to be someone you know.

“Well,” Steve held out the word as he collected his thoughts, “If you want names, I know I’ve fertilized Bucky’s cones more than once.”

Tony’s heart stopped in his chest. “Who’s Bucky?” he asked, almost too afraid as to what the answer might be.

“My best friend,” Steve said with a nostalgic smile. “We’ve grown up sides by side since we were foot high saplings. Actually, now that I think about it, we’ve been pollinating each other cones for years.”

“Is that so?” Tony asked, sadness seeping into his bones.

But Steve, bless his nonexistent heart, paid Tony no mind. “We both got taken down around the same time too, if you can believe it. I wonder how he’s doing. They weren’t gentle with him when they were cutting him down.”

Tony nodded, but said nothing.

So that was settled then. Steve already had someone special back in the forest. Steve didn’t need Tony. What was he thinking getting his hopes up like that? Sure, Tony was the only one who could see and hear Steve, but that didn’t make him special by default. Just because Tony thought the spirit was amazingly adorable didn’t mean that Steve liked him back.

Suddenly, Tony developed a very strong dislike of this tree named ‘Bucky’.

“Tony,” Steve’s calm voice broke through Tony’s inner monologue. “Do you think you could help me with something?”

“Yes!” Tony jumped at the opportunity, eagerly pushing aside the depressing thoughts.” Anything you want. Doesn’t matter how expensive it is. Just say the word and I’ll make it happen.”

“Hopefully it’s not too expensive,” Steve said with a shy smile. “I … uh… How do I say this without sounding weird? I- ah… Well, doesn’t matter. Tony, I need you to take me to Bryant Park.”

Tony blink. In his head, he replayed what Steve said once, and then twice. “Excuse me?” Tony could show Steve anything in the world, and yet the tree chose to go a few blocks down the street?

Steve nodded. “I heard some people talking about a Christmas tree in Bryant Park yesterday. I want to go and see if it’s Bucky.”

“Oh.” Tony’s heart sunk. So their relationship was like that. Steve didn’t really like Tony. He only hung around Tony because of what he could do for Steve. Well, it didn’t matter. Tony was used to people using him for his money and influence.

Knowing it didn’t make Tony feel better, but if going to Bryant Park made Steve happy, well Tony would make sure it happened. And in terms of what people had asked from him in the past; money, expensive jewelry, or expensive weapons, a trip down 5th Avenue meant nothing to him. If it made Steve happy, well, Tony was glad he could help.

Tony took a resolute breath. “Okay, but how will we get you from here to there?” Tony asked, his mind already sorting through various possibilities. “You can’t go further than the block and I don’t think Obie would be too happy about asking a helicopter to lift you there. Not to mention that you have no idea if he’s actually there or not.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered,” assured Steve. “Just pick a twig off one of my branches, put it in water, and take me there. I’ll be able to travel with you through the twig until it dries up.”

The numbers disappeared from Tony’s brain. His thoughts skidded to a halt so hard they kicked up dust. “You can travel? You’re not stuck here?”

“I mean, special circumstances apply.”

Tony exploded. “Why didn’t you say anything when I did all those tests two weeks ago?”

“I um…” Steve looked at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. He helplessly shrugged his shoulders and gave a meek, “I forgot?”

Tony was stunned “How could you forget something like that? This is a huge factor that I didn’t account for when I performed those tests last week. I don’t know if you understand, but this changes every theory I’ve written up on your species. Do you use it all the time? Do you use it when it’s an emergency? What about forest fires? And why didn’t you remember this until now? You don’t forget something this big and then remember it out of the blue.”

“Give me a break, Tony,” Steve said with an amused chuckle. “I don’t use it that often. I’ve been happy with where I was for the past seventy some years, didn’t see a reason to use it or remember it.”

“Until now when it concerns Bucky,” grumbled Tony. Leave it to Steve to think a damn tree was more special than a human. “Come on. I’d say we’d take the bus, but you’ve seen the traffic around here. It’s faster to walk. What part of you should I take?”

“Any part should be okay,” Steve said as he followed Tony under the rope barrier. “Just needs to be fresh. How about that one? Can you cut through that?” Steve pointed to a thin branch about seven inches long and half an inch in diameter.

Tony pulled the Swiss army knife out of his pocket and did some quick mental calculations. “Shouldn’t be a problem. You going to be okay with me sawing through a baby branch?”

“Sure. Branches break all the time in the forest.”

That wasn’t what Tony meant, but he did as requested. He pressed the blade to the bark and looked back at Steve once more for consent. Steve gave Tony a nod of approval, and Tony began to cut.

Steve winced the moment Tony’s knife cut through the rough outer bark. He stifled his cries as Tony sawed back and forth until the sharp edge of the blade was damp with tree goo. “Still sure?” Tony asked.

Steve nodded. If the spirit could cry, Tony was sure there would be tears in the corner of Steve’s eyes. “If I want to see Bucky, it has to be done this way.”

Tony’s heart hardened. All this pain for a stupid tree? Tony didn’t see the point. But if Steve wanted this, “Okay. I’ll try to go as quick as I can.”

Tony turned his attention back to the branch and went to work, doing his best to cut through the soft wood as fast as possible.

“Hey, Tony?”

“Hum?” Tony hummed. He was halfway through the branch.

“I just… I …. Thank you. I’m really glad I have the chance to see Bucky again.”

Tony frowned. He wasn’t doing this for Steve or Bucky. He was doing it for his own selfish reasons. He didn’t deserve Steve’s gratitude.  “Don’t thank me yet. We don’t even know if your buddy is there or not,” he grunted, tasting jealous bile on his tongue.

“He’s there,” Steve said with a confident smile. “I can feel it.”

‘Just like you can feel this,’ Tony bitterly thought as he ripped off the branch. Steve hissed as the branch ripped a strip of bark off his trunk. Steve blinked in and out of existence like a strobe light as he rode out the pain.

“Steve!”

Steve flickered for a few seconds before he stabilized. “’m fine,” said Steve with a strained smile, despite looking very much _not_ fine.

Tony bit his lip. He shouldn’t have done that. He knew Steve was in pain, and yet he did something stupid out of jealousy.

Tony felt bad, but it was too late for regrets. What’s done was done. He had a branch in his hand with an unnecessary tail of bark about four inches long. Tony couldn’t put it back, but maybe he could make up for it.

“Maybe, if I do it right next time we do this, we should go to someplace more interesting than Bryant Park. I should take you to the Statue of Liberty or the Met. I think you’d like it there,” offered Tony.

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know,” Tony mumbled under his breath. “You strike me as the ‘all American’ type of guy. Pressed shirts, apple pies, muscles built out of hard work and wholesome goodness, you seem like the type that would appreciate history and bad examples of modern art.”

Steve beamed. “If you think so, I’d love to see it sometimes.”

“So it’s a date then?”

“We’ll see.”

Well, it wasn’t a _yes_ , but it wasn’t an outright _no_.

* * *

 

“Are you sure this is the right tree?” asked Tony looking skeptically at the stout tree in the middle of the spare square.

“Positive,” Steve said, glowing with happiness like the lights on the pine tree. “I’d recognize those branches anywhere; decorations or no decorations. Although, the branches on the left side don’t look right.”

“Whatever,” Tony groused, determined _not_ to shove his hands in his pockets out of defiance. “I don’t see anyone floating around that looks like you.”

“Maybe he’s tired,” offered Steve as he floated closer to the tree. “Hello? Anyone home?” Steve called up into the branches.

“Oh, look at that,” Tony said with all the disappointment of a student whose final exam got canceled, “No one’s home. Too bad. We tried. Let’s go back before anything happens.”

But Steve wasn’t having it. “Try knocking on his trunk,” Steve suggested.

Tony scoffed. “I’m not doing that. You said that hurts when people do that.”

“Yeah, it does,” Steve confirmed, his eyes still scanning the green branches. “But hopefully it will hurt enough for Bucky to wake up.”

Well if it hurt Bucky, Tony wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity like that.

He made a fist and knocked on the wood three times.

Nothing happened.

“Again,” commanded Steve.

Tony rapped a pattern into the bark.

Nothing happened.

“Steve, I don’t think-”

“Just one more time.”

“But-”

“Please.”

Tony sighted. This was pointless, but he did as Steve asked. Tony curled his fingers into a fist and banged on the trunk as hard as he could.

A blast of air rushed passed Tony as an angry, brown haired man flew out of the trunk and into the air.

“Will you stop doing that you stupid saplings!” the man yelled. He swirled in the air like an angry cloud only a few feet above an ignorant crowd.

“Told you _sapling_ was an insult,” Tony said with a smug smile.

“Tony,” Steve warned in a low voice. “Be nice.”

The man’s eyes drifted to the blond tree spirit. The anger drained from his face and the swirling air calmed down. “Stevie?” The man whispered.

“Hey Buck,” Steve said with a shy little wave. “Long time no see.”

“Long time no see my stump you big sap!” Bucky said with an ecstatic smile on his face. He flew straight at Steve and the spirit welcomed him with open arm. The two men embraced each other with pure joy as they tumbled back through the air like fall leaves.

“How have you been? Thank the blue sky above, it’s good to see a friendly face,” Bucky said, barely able to contain his smile. “I’ve been yelling at humans for weeks and no matter what I do, I can’t get a response out of them. It’s so boring.”

“I’m sorry. If I had know, I would have come sooner.”

Bucky brushed the apology off with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about that. You’re here now, and that’s what’s important,” reassured Bucky.”But enough about me, what happened to you? When they started hacking you down, I thought you were a goner.”

“Same could be said for you. That crash you made when you fell down, I thought it was the end for sure.”

“Naw,” Bucky scoffed, flexing his right arm. “I’m stronger than that. Takes more than just a fall to bring me down.”

“But your left side,” Steve said, tracing the outline of Bucky’s limp left arm. “It’s all-”

Bucky blocked the gesture with his right hand. “It’s fine, Steve. I’ll survive.” He shrugged off the touch, trying to hide his left arm behind his back.

“Besides,” Bucky said, trying to move on to a lighter note. “You should have seen all the humans I hurt when they tried to cart me away. Stupid saplings. Think they know how the world works and then they do something like that.”

“Uh, hello,” said Tony, waving a hand. “Resident human over here.”

But the two tree spirits paid him no mind. “I know right?” Steve said with an exasperated sigh of relief. “Yesterday, a sapling picked up one of my empty cones and started crying when she cut her finger on one of the spines. Even a newborn deer knows better than that.”

“I mean depends on how old they are,” Tony said. “If she was my age, yeah, but if it’s just a kid-”

“It’s basic mammalian instinct,” scoffed Bucky. “Clint, Sam, and Natasha would know a thing or two about that. I mean, they’re birds and Natasha’s a spider, but-”

“Excuse me!” said Tony, beginning to lose his patience. “I’m right here.”

“Did you see what happened to them?” asked Steve.

Bucky frowned. “No, they flew off when the humans came and I didn’t see them come back. Did you see what happened to them?”

“Hey! Listen to me!” Tony yelled. But the two tree spirits didn’t hear a word he said. Steve and Bucky were too busy wrapped in their own little world to be bothered by Tony’s concerns. Slowly, they floated up toward the sky and eventually disappeared into Bucky’s branches; laughing and smiling like a pair of lost brothers.

Tony’s blood began to boil with rage. How dare they leave him out of the conversation! After everything he had done for Steve, how dare they ignore him!

Tony’s hands itched to climb up the rough trunk and demand the two spirits pay attention to him. He could do it. He was strong enough. Tony could still make out Steve’s toes hidden behind the low hanging branches.

But another idea snuck into his brain like a poisonous snake.‘Throw Steve’s branch on the ground,’ it whispered. ‘Steve’s bound to it. He’ll will go back to Rockefeller Center if you do. Break the spell. Send Steve send away so he can never see Bucky again.’

Tony looked at the twig. He bit his bottom lip as he thought it over. It was a tempting, taking Steve away from Bucky so he could monopolize Steve’s attention.

But, in the end, Tony didn’t do it. Instead, Tony picked up an empty paper cup that had been rolling on the ground. He walked over to a nearby fountain and filled the impromptu planter with as much water as the paper could hold. Placing Steve’s branch on an elevated planter, he checked the amount of sun hitting the thin, green leaves, before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking away from Bryant Park.

It was a lonely walking alone. Without Steve’s friendly banter to keep him company, each block Tony crossed felt longer than the last. The wind cut through his jacket like a knife, sending a violent shiver down Tony’s spine.  

It was cold, the sidewalk was icy from thousands of feet stomping down on snow, and Tony felt downright miserable without Steve.

Tony didn’t know where he was going, and he didn’t particularly care. But when his feet took him back to Rockefeller Center, Tony wasn’t surprised. He had come to visit so many times over the past month, the route was almost second nature.

Without another thought, Tony popped a squat on a bench, pulled out his pocket knife, and got to work reconfiguring the small device he was working on for school.

* * *

 

By the time Steve got back, it’s late and cold and dark. Steve didn’t look happy, but Tony didn’t care. Tony could have gone back to the mansion, played loud music, and stolen the good scotch out of Howard’s collection to drink himself silly. Instead, he chose to watch people skate on the manmade ice rink, waiting like an army wife for her husband to come back from war.

“What was that about?” demanded Steve. “I talk to Bucky for a few seconds and the next thing I know, you’re in the wind.”

Tony grunted. “It sounded like you were busy.”

“You should have waited, Tony. I was going to introduce you two.”

“Yeah? Well, it looked like you had a lot more you wanted to introduce,” Tony spat with bitter venom.

“What are you talking about?” asked Steve, clearly not getting the innuendo.

“Don’t play dumb,” snapped Tony. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Steve, the epitome of calm and collected, shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

Tony scoffed. “Do I really need to spell it out? Bucky and Stevie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-”

“What does that have to do with anything?” interrupted Steve.

“Oh my god,” groaned Tony. “Do you not get it? You like him.”

Steve looked shocked. “I, what?”

“Don’t deny it,” sneered Tony. “I saw the way you looked at him.”

Steve face changed from shocked to baffled. “We were just talking. I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

“Well, it’s the same look Jan gave me when-”

“We grew up next to each other. I’ve never been more than five feet apart from him in my entire life.”

“Let me guess, your roots were intertwined with each other.”

It wasn’t even sexual, but the way he said it made Steve’s face flushed red. Steve had never blushed like a human before. He looked so fucking adorable and Tony hated it. “That’s not the point.”

“You know what; I don’t even know why I came back here,” Tony said, gathering up his belongings.

“Tony!”

“Good luck finding someone else to be your errand boy for your budding romance,” Tony spat over his shoulder as he walked away.

“TONY!” In a fit of rage, Steve flew through Tony’s chest and popped out the other side. Tony’s blood ran cold as Steve’s straightened to his full height, blocking Tony’s path. “Will you listen for just one second?”

Tony flinched back, covering his chest. “Don’t do that!” he yelled between panicked gasps. “I have a fucking heart condition and you know I can’t stand it when you do that.”

The anger drained from Steve’s face. His eyes softened. “I’m sorry.” And he actually looked like he was. “But I need you to listen, and if you don’t stop running away from me, I’ll do it again.”

Tony was tempted to blow past the spirit. It wasn’t like there was anything Steve could do to stop him. However, the look on Steve’s face made the fire in his soul die down and, against his better judgment, Tony growled, “Fine. Have it your way.”

Steve let out a heavy sigh of relief. “I wanted to see Bucky to say good bye.”

Tony scoffed.

“Whether you believe me or not, it’s the truth. I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker by the day. Whatever strength I had to travel away from here, I’ve used it all up to see Bucky.”

Tony stilled. “So, you mean-”

Steve nodded. “No more trips to see Bucky. I can’t go with you to see the Statue of Liberty or the Met like you wanted to. I wish I could, but I’m stuck here until they take off the decorations and cart me away.”

“I… Wow.” Tony was at a loss for words. “I’m … I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Steve said with a reassuring smile. “At least I have you to keep me company. Bucky doesn’t have anyone.”

“You sure you don’t mind?” asked Tony. “I- I will admit that I was acting like a jealous asshole.”

“I’m sure,” Steve said. “Besides, Bucky may put on a good show, but that fall did more damage than he let on. We’re both nearing the end, so it’s best to conserve what little strength we have left.”

Steve floated down so he and Tony were at eye level. “Thank you, by the way.”

Tony felt an electric shock run up his spine. “For what?”

“For giving me one last chance to say good bye. I couldn’t bear to say it or admit that it was the end when we were being chopped down, but I can now.” He looked into Tony’s eyes. “Thank you, Tony. Thank you for everything.”

“No- no problem,” stammered Tony. “Glad I could help.”

Steve smiled and it felt like butterflies were flying around inside Tony’s chest. “If there’s anything I can do, just let me know. I might not be able to do much all things considering, but I’ll do what I can.”

Tony was scarcely able to believe his ears. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“In that case, how about dinner and a movie?” Tony blurted out.

Steve’s smile disappeared. He blinked twice as his face tilted to the side in confusion. “A what now?”

And because Tony’s nervous subconscious hated him, he kept on talking. “You know, go to a nice restaurant, have a little something to eat, catch a stupid flick that we’ll talk about until you drop me off at my front door step a little after midnight. You’ll kiss me before you leave and Jarvis will make a fuss for dating someone decades older than me. And then-”

“What are you talking about?”

Words dried up in Tony’s mouth. He couldn’t speak. He was aware of the racing beat of his heart and every short breath that went in and out of his lungs, but he couldn’t speak. Tony had so much to say and they had so little time. So instead, Tony cut to the chase. He closed his eyes, pushed himself up on his toes, and kissed Steve.

It was nothing more than a light peck and Tony felt nothing but air under his lips, but he couldn’t ignore the tingle across his lips when he passed through the spirit.

Tony landed back on his heels and looks up through lidded eyes. Steve’s lips were parted open and his eyes were wide with shock. Yet, he wasn’t not running away back to his trunk, so Tony pushed a bit further.

“Take me on a date,” he said. Tony’s heart was beating so fast, it felt like it would burst out of his chest at any second. “I’m talking candles, fancy dinner, the works.”

Now Steve was at a loss for words. “Tony, I-”

“I want eat pasta and kiss you like they did in Lady and the Tramp.”

“What in the- Where would I even-”

Tony bounced impatiently up and down on the balls of his feet.  “I’m not hearing a ‘no.’”

“Well, I’m not giving a ‘yes.’” Steve looked mad, but he didn’t sound mad.

“You said you owe me.”

“Yes, I did. But something like _that_? That should be between a human boy and a human girl. Not between-”

“Did I forget to mention there’s this little thing called bisexuality which means I can like both genders?”

“A human boy and me!”

Tony snorted. “What? Are you going to tell you parents?”

“Do they need to know?”

“They’re dead now.”

“Oh Tony.”

“Besides, you promised. You said you owe me.”

“Yes, but Tony-”

“That’s what I want, Steve. I want you to take me on a super nice date.”

“Tony, I-”

“You have until next weekend to make up your mind. I expect to have an answer before I leave on Monday.”

“Tony!”

“I’m holding you to it Steve! I’ll hold you to it as long as I live! And if you don’t do it before you die, you’ll have to come back and make it up to me ten times over.”

* * *

 

Many years later

Tony’s phone went off in the middle of a very important meeting. At least, according to Pepper it was important. The schedule said something boring about legalities, trial runs, and politics. Whatever it was, Tony hadn’t bothered to pay attention. As long as his butt was in a seat, it shut people up and that was good enough for him.

But, nobody ever said anything about not getting distracted.

Tony reached for the phone in his back pocket, making an effort to shuffle around in the leather seat as loud as he could. One look at caller ID and he forgot all about the meeting.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said as Tony answered the call.

“Hey, Steve,” Tony said, knowing that he face said ‘love sick fool’ like a Las Vegas sign. “How are you? How’s Bucky enjoying the new arm I made for him?”

“Good. We’re both good.” Tony could hear Steve’s smile over the speaker. “Bucky keeps walking around the apartment touching stuff. We went to the farmer’s market yesterday and he spent all morning fondling plums and tomatoes. He seems really happy, but it’s starting to drive me crazy.”

“Don’t blame the guy,” Tony said, silently marveling at the things the universe kept consistent.

“Getting his arm blown off in combat and then having to spend the last year with that plastic mess the guys at the VA call a prosthetic, anything had to be better than that.”

“Well, it’s working wonders for his nightmares and PTSD. I think seeing physical evidence that he can be put back together is helping a lot,” Steve said, his voice glowing with pride.

One of the board members cleared his throat a little louder than necessary

“I’m sorry,” apologized Steve. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,”

“You?” Tony looked around the table at the men in suits, thoroughly enjoying the looks that ranged from impatient irrational to death glares of contempt. “No. Never. What’s on your mind?” he asked, excusing himself from the table.

Steve’s carefree voice shrunk to an unconfident stammer. “Well, I was… um… I was wondering if you were free Friday night.”

“Friday?” Tony asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Or Saturday or Sunday or any other day of the week, but, you know, Friday would be really good,” Steve said, his thoughts slowly devolving into a pointless babble of words and ideas. “Around seven would work best. You know, when you’re off of work and the skyline is all lit up. But don’t worry. We can do it whenever you’re free. It doesn’t have to be this week, but, you know, it would be nice if I could see you soon.

“I mean, I saw you last week for Bucky’s tune up, but I wanted to see you without Bucky making gagging sounds in the background. Not that there’s anything wrong with having Bucky around or nothing. He’s my best friend. Of course I like having him around. But, I‘d just like some time for the two of us, you know?

“Not that I’m miss you or nothing. I mean, we just met a few months ago. I don’t want you to think that I’m needy. I’m not, by the way. It’s just- I know you’re a busy guy and you’ve probably got a meeting or a dinner to attend with some really famous people and I don’t want to complicate things but-”

Tony stopped in his tracks as the door to the boardroom closed behind him. His heart began to race. Was Steve really doing this? Was Steve about to asking him on a date? Romantic dinner, candles, the works? Was he finally asking Tony out on a real, honest to god, nice date like Tony had asked for long ago? Was this his sign that Steve remembered what happened in the past?

Tony resisted the urge to squeal like a little girl. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions and scare Steve off before he was ready. Tony had been dreaming for this moment ever since he told Steve off all those years ago. Going too fast and messing this up was the last thing he wanted to do. Taking a few calming breaths, Tony tried playing it cool.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what’s going on Friday?” asked Tony, more than willing to play Steve’s game.

“I… um… well…” Tony could hear the blush creeping up Steve’s skinny neck. He stammered for a bit, words refusing to come out of his mouth.

Someone must have been with Steve, urging him to conquer his nerves because the next thing out of his mouth was ten times more coherent and twice as fast.

“Clint is hosting a dinner party in a few weeks, and Bucky is volunteering at the VA late Friday night, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to try out some new recipes on you before the party.”

Tony winced. Wow. Just, wow. That was the worst excuse for a date Tony had ever heard in his lifetime, and he had heard plenty.

Apparently, Steve’s co-conspirator thought the excuse was just as bad because in the background, Tony heard a very loud, “Are you fucking kidding me!?” shortly followed by muffled sounds of fighting along with a few choice words.

“Give me the phone, punk!”

“Back off, Buck! You’ll only make it worse.”

“How can I make it any worse after you fucked it up?”

“Five minutes ago, you said I could do it without you.”

“That’s before you got your panties in a bunch about asking dear old ‘Mr. Stark’ out on a date.

“Shut up Buck! And stop using your height against me! We’re not twelve anymore.”

“Then stop acting like you’re twelve and ask him out like a real man would!”

“Get off of me before I bite you!”

“Punk!”

“Jerk!”

“Everything okay over there?” asked Tony.

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice sounded far away. “Bucky is just acting like the annoying little brother that he is.”

“At least I have the balls to ask for some instead of beating around the bush.”

“That’s it!” Steve yelled.

Tony listened in on the argument, goofy smile plastered across his face as he waited for Steve to get back.

After a few minutes of bickering, Steve voice came over the line loud and clear. “So?” Steve asked, gasping into the phone. “Friday, at seven, you interested?”

“Yes,” Tony said without hesitation, barely able to contain his smile. “Dinner on Friday sounds good.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked, happily surprised.

“I’ll bring enough wine for three courses: dinner, dessert, and a little something personal,” he hinted with a mischievous smile.

“Oh my god!” Bucky’s groaned.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea Tony?” asked Steve, actively muffling Bucky’s objections. “I don’t mind drinking sparkling water or soda. I know how hard you’ve been working on staying sober.”

“What? Ever lie to help you flirt?” asked Tony, amused smile on his face.

Bucky groaned. “You two are fucking made for each other.”

“If you don’t shut up, I will suffocate you with this pillow and won’t even feel bad.”

* * *

 

Friday evening came and Tony was more than a little nervous. The look in Pepper’s eyes as he left the office said that Tony had gone more than a little overboard in preparation for their dinner date. But really, who could blame him? How often had a once dead, love of his life, asked him on a date? Only once, and Tony wasn’t about to fuck it up.

Taking a calming breath, Tony knocked on Steve’s apartment door.

Show time.

“Hi,” said Tony as Steve opened the door to his small Brooklyn apartment.

Steve’s mouth practically dropped to the floor. “Hi,” Steve echoed staring at the present in Tony’s hands.

Tony smiled, smugly satisfied at the surprised look on Steve’s face. When Steve didn’t comment on the package in his arms, Tony asked, “We going to do this routine every time we try to start a conversation?”

“You brought flowers,” Steve said, staring in awe at the large arrangement of roses, peonies, forget me nots, and baby breath. “Like five bouquets worth of flowers.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on Steve. Give me some credit. I brought at least ten bouquets worth of flowers.  I couldn’t in good conscious bring wine, so, you know, flowers. Lots and lots of flowers,” Tony said, holding them out for Steve to take.

When Steve didn’t move to take them, Tony began to fidget nervously. Did he do something wrong? Did Tony just make a faux pas in giving a ‘at one time’ tree flowers?

“Steve? Say something, Steve.”

Steve continued to stare at the flowers.

The palms of Tony’s hands began to sweat. “If you don’t say something, I’m going to think this was a really bad idea and leave right this second to throw them in the trash.”

“No! Don’t! I just- They’re beautiful,” Steve said, breathlessly taking the bouquet in both hands.

Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Tell me you have a vase big enough to put them in because otherwise, I’ll feel like such an ass.”

“I’ll see what we have,” said Steve, welcoming Tony in. He placed the flowers down on a side table and disappeared into the dark hall of the apartment.

“I’ll just be a second.”

“Take our time,” said Tony, taking in the old apartment.

It was a quaint little place if he ever saw one. Little on the small side considering two people lived in the apartment. However, it had a nice sofa, TV, dining table, and separate bedrooms for each occupant. No ornate decorations covering the walls, but the exposed brick made the bachelor pad look very nice.

“Hey,” said Steve as he popped out the hallway. “I found one of those giant cups you get from ball games.”

Tony took one look at the blue plastic covered in team logos and snorted. “Classy, Steve.”

Steve shrugged. “I’ll do for now,” he said, filling the cup with water. “Besides, it’s not like we get flowers in this apartment of a regular basis.”

“And what if a certain someone wants to give you flowers on a regular basis?” asked Tony, leering at Steve across the kitchen as Steve turned off the tap. “What will you do then?”

The tips of Steve’s ears turned red. He grabbed a pair of scissors, grabbed the cup, and darted back into the dining room “Then I guess I better go out tomorrow and get something nicer than this.”

Tony chuckled in amusement. As Steve worked to untie the red and blue ribbon around the middle, Tony plucked the scissors out of Steve’s grasp. “Why don’t you let me find something,” he offered, turning the suave in his voice up to ten. “Quick search on the internet, and -”

“No,” Steve said, snatching the scissors from Tony’s hands. “If I let you find something, it’s going to be expensive and extravagant and I won’t even want to touch it because I’m afraid I’ll break it.”

Tony groaned. “Oh come on, Steve. You don’t know that.”

Steve glared at him skeptically.

Tony squirmed under the scrutiny, but eventually gave in. “Okay yeah,” Tony admitted, with an uncomfortable shrug. “I’d totally do that.”

“Which is why,” explained Steve, very smug about having won the battle. “I invited you to my place instead of some fancy restaurant. There’s no way you can pick up the check when I’m not looking if there’s no check to pick up.”

A wide smile spread across Tony’s face. “So you did invite me over for personal reasons,” purred Tony, positioning his body so Steve was between Tony and the table.

Steve’s hand froze over the flowers. The back of his neck all the way up to the tips of his ears flushed a deep, scarlet red. “Well, I um-” he stammered.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Steve,” Tony purred into Steve’s ear. Steve’s back became ramrod straight, but Tony didn’t mind. He blew a playful puff of hot air into Steve’s ear. Steve gasped as a full body shiver ran down the smaller man’s spin.

Tony smile. He placed his hands on the table, trapping the smaller man in between his arms. “Tell me you didn’t tag along to those appointments Bucky and I had as an excuse to see me,” he whispered, leering at the tiny, blond hairs on the back of Steve’s neck, goosebumps forming under his stare. “Tell me you’re not interested in something more than metal parts and prosthetics for Barnes. Tell me this is nothing more than a simple dinner between friends. Go on, Steve. Tell me I’m just imagining things.”

Steve slowly turned his head around and looked at Tony. His blue eyes sparkled in the light and his cheeks grew rosier with each passing second.

Steve’s breath hitched as he answered, “You’re not wrong, but-” The end of the sentence died off. Steve licked his lips, making them glisten in the low light of the apartment.

“But what?” asked Tony. He leaned forward until he could feel Steve’s warm breath on his lips.

Steve’s eyes began to turn dark with lust. His eyes fluttered closed as his lips parted, moving toward Tony expectantly.

“But-”

A loud ring from the kitchen cut off Steve’s objection.

Suddenly, Tony was pushed back into the brick wall. Caught off guard, Tony looked at the small man for some sort of explanation.

The explanation was clear on Steve’s face. “Sorry,” Steve apologized, startled shock disintegrating into an embarrassed panic. “I didn’t mean to. I was just… What I mean is… I think that’s the timer for the vegetables. Why don’t you make yourself at home,” Steve said, slipping away and back into the kitchen with his tail between his legs.

Tony stood froze in the moment. His brain was doing loop de loops about what had just transpired. Tony’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest as Steve disappear back into the kitchen.

It took a second for the moment to sink in, but when it did Tony snorted in relief. He wasn’t the only one nervous about their date. Thank god.

As he tried to shake off the nerves, a glint on the table caught his eye. On the table were two white candles, standing tall like soldiers ready for battle. Tony’s heart stopped as a treasured memory flickered in his mind.

_“Fancy dinner, candles, the works!”_

All of a sudden, Tony had trouble breathing. He leaned back into the wall, clutching the fabric over his scarred heart.

The promise from long ago; Steve had set up the date like Tony had requested all those years ago. Was this a coincidence? No, this was too close to what Tony had asked for. It couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

If it wasn’t, did that mean Steve remembered what happened? Did he remember their time together when Steve was a tree and Tony was nothing more than a naïve little boy? If he did, why hadn’t he said anything until now? They had seen each other almost half a dozen time since they first met up back in December.

Maybe it was because Bucky was there. Hearing from your best friend that you were a tree in a past life would not be the easiest thing to come to terms with. And now that they were finally alone, maybe Steve would finally say something about it.

But what if he didn’t. What if Steve didn’t remember anything from his years as a tree? What did that mean for them? What did that mean for Tony? Would their be some weird awkward phase whey there tried to figure each other out? Would they have to start from square one? Would Steve dump Tony when he started asking weird questions about what happened in the past? Granted they weren't officially dating, but-

Our would it be worse? Would Tony wake up at the stroke of midnight and find everything as it was before; him, alone in his workshop waiting for someone who was never coming back? Was this all just an elaborate dream? A cruel trick from the universe to give Tony hope, only to snatch it all away.

Tony couldn’t bear the thought. He couldn’t be alone again. Not after everything he’d been through.

‘Not again. Please, not again.’

“Tony?” Steve’s voice woke Tony from his trance. “Is everything okay?”

Tony looked at Steve, beautiful, tiny, human Steve, and wanted to cry. His first instinct was to wipe away the tears at the corners of his eyes and say, “Yes,” but instead he pointed to the table. “You’ve got candles,” he said weakly.

“Yeah,” said Steve as he cautiously put down the plates of food. “I thought it would be appropriate for a romantic dinner date.”

Tony let out a forced laugh, trying to hide his misery behind humor. “So this is a date after all.”

“Yeah,” Steve slowly nodded. “Poorly set up on my part, but yeah. It’s a date. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Tony said, rubbing the water out of the corner of his eyes.

Steve cautiously approached him, worry etched into his face. “Tony-”

Words tumbled out Tony’s mouth like a ruptured dam. “I’m fine. I just don’t want this to be a one off, okay?” Tony said, brushing off Steve’s concern with a wave of his hand. “I don’t want to have one great night and then you up and disappear without a trace.”

Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion “Why would I do that?”

Tony let out a heavy huff of air and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I just-” How could he explain this without sounding like a lunatic? He couldn’t. Not without scaring off Steve. And after so many years of waiting, after all that had happened, Tony would be a fool for wasting a chance like this with questions and ‘what if’s’.

“You know what, forget everything I just said,” Tony said, gathering his wits about him. “Let’s just sit down and eat before the food gets cold.”

“No.” Steve stepped between Tony and the table. “Food can wait. You clearly have something on your mind and I won’t have it running our date.”

“What?” Tony sputtered. “No I-”

“Then what are you hiding? Why are you keeping this from me?” interrupted Steve.

Suddenly, Tony found the wall utterly fascinating.  “I’m not keeping anything from you.”

“Yes, you are,” insisted Steve.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Tony!”

Tony covered his face and groaned in frustration. Of all things to happen on a second date, it had to be this. He flopped down into the too soft sofa and buried his face in the cushions, hoping to disappear.

Steve was silent for a few minutes. ‘Most likely writing down bullet points as to why I would be a terrible boyfriend,’ a small voice in Tony’s head supplied. But without so much as an exasperated sigh, Steve walked over to the couch and sat down by Tony’s side.

“You know,” said Steve, his voice lacking any negative emotion. “You can trust me. I won’t judge.”

The small voice in Tony’s head said he doubted that. Hesitantly, Tony peaked out from his cocoon of comfort. He eyed Steve up and down, only receiving an easy smile.

“Someone hurt me a long time ago,” Tony confessed. “He didn’t mean it, but one moment he was there and the next moment, he was gone.”

Steve gave a sympathetic nod. “Car accident?”

Tony shook his head. If only it was that simple. “I’ve been telling people cancer,” he told the pillows. “It’s easier for people to relate to and be sympathetic.”

“Oh,” said Steve. The world hung in the uncomfortable silence between them as the wall clock ticked the seconds by. “So, you’re still hung up on this guy?” asked Steve, cautiously as if testing the waters.

“I don’t know. Maybe a little,” Tony admitted. He cautiously sat up, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Look, he told me to move on after he died and I tried. You probably know my history; it’s been over the news for years. I slept around a lot, but nothing stuck. Truth is, I wanted to do serious, but he was the only one I was serious about. Everyone else I met just never felt right.”

“Oh,” said Steve. There was a heavy sadness in his voice as he slumped over.

Steve let out a tired sigh, rubbing his hands over his face. “This isn’t going to work out, is it?” Steve’s rhetorical question was muffled by his small hands. “You’re not ready to move on.”

“No!” Tony exclaimed, desperate for Steve to understand. “I want this to work out. I really do. And I know he’d want that too.”

“Then what’s stopping you? He gave you permission to move on, right?”

“Yeah, but I’m worried because you’re too perfect for me. I’m scared that I’ll wake up any moment and find out this was all a dream or just a casual romp in the hay. I don’t want that, Steve. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning and find out this was some sort of warped fantasy or a casual fuck or-”

Steve’s lips crashed into Tony’s, sealing the doubts behind warm flesh. Tony squeaked in surprise as Steve pressed his feelings into Tony’s mouth.

The feelings Steve forced into the kiss weren’t light or casual at all. They were intense and downright dirty. There was heat, tongue, intense passion, every iteration of love all wrapped in one kiss. Tony could hardly believe it. They had only just met and Steve felt this strongly about him?

Tony closed his and pushed his own feelings and doubts into the kiss; grief, sorrow, hope, desire, he pushed all of it into Steve, and Steve accepted it. Steve accepted every feeling that Tony felt and comforted him with warm touches that made Tony’s skin burn like fire.

It was too soon when Steve pulled away. Tony was almost out of air, but it was still too soon.

“Don’t worry,” Steve assured Tony, equally as breathless as he pressed his forehead against Tony’s. “It won’t be.”

“Steve,” Tony gasped.

Steve crawled into Tony’s lap and continued kissing his brains out. Tony closed his eyes and let himself fall into the embrace, taking in every bit of heat that wash over him. The kisses were so wet and dirty, Steve would have to give at least a dozen hail Mary’s the next time he went to confession.

“Damn,” Steve panted between labored breaths. “I wanted to do this later.”

“What? What are you talking about?” asked a dazed Tony.

“Never mind. It’s stupid,” Steve said, threading his fingers through Tony’s short hair.

“No, tell me. I like stupid,” coaxed Tony with an encouraging smile.

Steve’s cheeks flushed the same shade of red as his kiss swollen lips. “I had this whole thing planned out before you came. We’d eat dinner, watch a movie that you like, I’d come up with some excuse to snuggle up against you, and then we’d make out like fucking teenagers while the credits roll.”

Tony was awestruck. “You planed all that? Just for me?”

Steve nodded. “Bucky says to always go into battle with a plan. Too bad I’m not good at following them,” he said with a guilty smile.

“Does that mean-”

“Unless the sex is really bad, I’m not going anywhere,” Steve said, wrapping his arms tight around Tony’s neck so their noses were only inches apart.

Tony snorted. “The sex is where you draw the line?”

“Hey, a guy’s gotta have some standards,” Steve said with a teasing smile. “Mine just happens to be how good we are at sex.”

“What about me being a multi billionaire?” asked Tony. “I’m guessing that’s just an added bonus for when you tell your friend you have a sugar daddy.”

“I wouldn’t call you a sugar daddy. They might, but I’d like to call you my boyfriend. I mean, if you’re okay with that,” Steve said, shying away from Tony’s gaze.

Tony’s heart melted. “Steve, I’m more than okay with that.”

Steve laughed with joy, his smile lighting up the entire room with a happiness Tony had missed dearly.  Steve pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead and held them together tight in his thin arms. “And the money,” Steve affectionately whispered, “just means that I have to be patient on those bad days and try extra hard to make you feel special.”

“You already do,” Tony murmured into Steve’s ear, tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. “God damn, you have no idea how much you already do.”

“Come on,” Steve said as he stood up from the couch, gently pulling Tony with him. “Food is getting cold and I made pasta. Call me a romantic sap, but I thought it might be fun to reenact the scene from Lady and the Tramp.”

Tony snorted. “You know it’s a horribly cliché thing to do and nobody gets it right no matter how sexy they try to make it.”

“I know,” Steve said with a bashful smile. “But I thought I’d be a good excuse to kiss you.”

Tony’s smile stretched from ear to ear. “Let’s do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it's about time that I get around to posting more chapters. Hopefully, the next ones won't take as long. But, knowing me, they will.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Follow me on my tumbler and see all the shit I reblog. [[link]](http://miniblackraven.tumblr.com/) or follow my side blog that's all about cats. Because there has to be some good in this world. [cat blog]

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Tree in Rockefeller Center [ART]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8882716) by [MassiveSpaceWren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MassiveSpaceWren/pseuds/MassiveSpaceWren)




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